My goal in the following post is to help bring comfort to
those grieving the loss of a loved one.
Love is a source of great joy and at the same time a
source of great sadness. It brings to mind the title of the 1976 song by
Nazareth, Love Hurts. I am also reminded of the 1986 song by Garth
Brooks, The Dance, in which we reflect on the words,
“Looking
back on the memory of
The
dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For
a moment all the world was right
How
could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye
And
now I'm glad I didn't know
The
way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our
lives are better left to chance
I
could have missed the pain
But
I'd have had to miss the dance.”
We
must remember that the people God places in our lives are gifts to be
treasured; they are not our possessions; they belong to Him. As parents we tend
to forget that children are God’s gifts to us as parents. God entrusts them to
our love and care until He calls them home, sometimes sadly before He is ready
to call us home. A fact hard to swallow, but true, nonetheless. We should
remain forever grateful for the time our Lord has given us with our children
and all the ones we love.
The
“good news” is that our earthly separation has been rendered temporary by the
life, passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus. We die with him and rise again
to an eternal life in his presence. And the reunion with our loved ones will be
permanent and eternal. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there
shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has
passed away.” Rev 21:4
Love is eternal, God reveals this to us in the writings
of St. Paul; “Love never ends.” 1 Cor 13:8, as well as in many other places in
scripture I’m certain.
True, our physical time together on earth ends, but the
love we have for each other endures for all eternity.
The fact that we experience life within the confines of
time and space is the reason that physical separation from our loved ones is
difficult, especially for those who live life without faith because the
separation for them becomes permanent. There is no hope for those without faith;
our Lord tells us differently.
Our journey in this earthly existence is extremely brief
as St. James writes, “You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and
then vanishes away.” James 4:14
God has placed us here, but this is not our permanent
home; we are visitors on a journey to our heavenly homes prepared for us by our
Lord from all eternity.
When I experienced the loss of my sister, who was suddenly
called home at the young age of thirty-one after a brief illness, and with whom
I had a close relationship; when I was fortunate enough to be at the bedside of
both my parents holding their hands as their souls left their earthly bodies; when
I learn about friends, family, and co-workers who grieve the loss of loved
ones, there are two scripture passages that come to mind to remind me that this
separation is temporary, albeit painful. These scripture verses have brought
peace and comfort to me during these times, and I pray they will for you as
well.
The first scripture passage is one in which Jesus is
preparing his disciples for his imminent suffering and death; the other is one in
which Jesus in his human nature weeps as he shares the grief his friends Martha
and Mary are experiencing over the loss of their brother Lazarus. It is said to
be the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept,” found in Jn 11:35. Jesus
wept even though in his divine nature he knew what would become of Lazarus.
Jesus empathized with Martha and Mary to the point that he wept with them.
Jesus also weeps with each of us in our times of sorrow.
Below are the two passages of scripture to which I have made
reference to above:
Jn
14:2-4
2“Let
not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My
Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I
go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I
will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be
also. 4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
Jn
11:1-44
1Now
a man was ill, Lazarus from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister
Martha.
2Mary
was the one who had anointed the Lord with perfumed oil and dried his feet with
her hair; it was her brother Lazarus who was ill.
3So
the sisters sent word to him, saying, “Master, the one you love is ill.”
4When
Jesus heard this he said, “This illness is not to end in death, but is for
the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
5Now
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.
6So
when he heard that he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he
was.
7Then
after this he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
8The
disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just trying to stone you, and you
want to go back there?”
9Jesus
answered, “Are there not twelve hours in a day? If one walks during the day, he
does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world.e
10But
if one walks at night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.”
11He
said this, and then told them, “Our friend Lazarus is asleep, but I am going to
awaken him.”
12So
the disciples said to him, “Master, if he is asleep, he will be saved.”
13But
Jesus was talking about his death, while they thought that he meant ordinary
sleep.
14So
then Jesus said to them clearly, “Lazarus has died.
15And
I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe. Let us go to
him.”
16So
Thomas, called Didymus,* said
to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go to die with him.”
17When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus
had already been in the tomb for four days.
18Now
Bethany was near Jerusalem, only about two miles* away.
19And
many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their
brother.
20When
Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home.
21Martha
said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.i
22[But]
even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.”
23Jesus
said to her, “Your brother will rise.”
24Martha
said to him, “I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day.”
25Jesus
told her, “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if
he dies, will live,
26and
everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
27
She said to him, “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Messiah,
the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.”
28When she had said this, she went and called
her sister Mary secretly, saying, “The teacher is here and is asking for you.”
29As
soon as she heard this, she rose quickly and went to him.
30For
Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still where Martha had met
him.
31So
when the Jews who were with her in the house comforting her saw Mary get up
quickly and go out, they followed her, presuming that she was going to the tomb
to weep there.
32When
Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said to him,
“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33When
Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping, he became
perturbed* and
deeply troubled,
34and
said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Sir, come and see.”
35And Jesus wept.
36So
the Jews said, “See how he loved him.”
37But
some of them said, “Could not the one who opened the eyes of the blind man have
done something so that this man would not have died?”
38So Jesus, perturbed again, came to the
tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay across it.
39Jesus
said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the dead man’s sister, said to him, “Lord,
by now there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days.”
40Jesus
said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of
God?”
41So
they took away the stone. And Jesus raised his eyes and said, “Father,* I
thank you for hearing me.
42I
know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this,
that they may believe that you sent me.”
43And
when he had said this, he cried out in a loud voice,* “Lazarus,
come out!”
44The
dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was
wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them, “Untie him and let him go.”
